So What If I'm Loud? Who Gon' Check Me?
Given the current climate, I think it’s appropriate to stop, reorientate and realign with what it means to be a Black Woman in today’s society.
If you’re a Black Woman and you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking “I know what it means!”, and I am happy that you do. HOWEVER, not everybody understands or respects that and this is a problem.
What do I mean?
To everyone else, and I’m sure you’ve heard it all before ladies, we are strong, fearless and we always somehow manage to pull through for our men - “ride or die”.
Whilst this can absolutely be the case, I’m here to tell you not only is that politically incorrect but also politically motivated.
In the world of English literature, it’s what we would call a double entendre. In a political environment, Black Women are “angry and aggressive”; in the media, Black Women are “rude” and “stubborn”...yet non-Black Women are just passionate.
Firstly, the way we are treated (microaggressions and all) is not exactly going to make us want to treat you with respect.
Secondly, if my definition of femininity does not fit in YOUR box, it does not and should not invalidate it. We are our own women and no one should tell us otherwise.
Thirdly, even if we are all those things, so what?
That’s for me to decide, not you.
Why is it that our growth and making it out stronger from trauma and pain is what defines us? If you are a man and you are reading this, you very well may be thinking that “that’s not so bad”.
You don’t know how detrimental that just is.
You’ve justified and normalised abuse, disrespect, ignorance and all the things that are wrong with the world. Just so you can create an idea of a woman for a woman?
Make it make sense. The whole of society will be viewing us that way. Viewing us like that to the extent of it impacting how we function as humans, because that’s what we are...human. Though, it seems to me that everybody thinks we are superhuman who are above feeling emotion and pain because we “go through the most”, therefore we must become numb to it.
Malcolm X said “the most disrespected person in America is a Black Woman”. I’ll tweak that a bit, and change ‘in America’ to ‘in the world’.
With all the anti-Blackness in every community and women being oppressed in the patriarchal societies that we live in, it absolutely must be true. Why are people still defining who we are as Black Women? Only WE would know, so you should not be telling me otherwise.
A word to the beautiful Black Women reading this...
You already know this, but don’t let anyone try and get you to conform to their definitions and don’t feed into their rubbish...
If you are loud, be loud. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, by all means show the world. You are very much you and I’m proud of you for that.
If you are still trying to figure out and define your femininity, by all means go ahead and be free.
We are more than wives, mothers and sisters.
Please, do whatever you need to do, date whoever you want to date, apply for that job in the field that is off-puttingly Karen and Male dominated! Make it known and clear that you are a Black Woman and you will not tolerate any type of disrespect...
“I trust my intuition implicitly. I don’t talk myself into anything and I don’t cut myself out of anything” Bozoma Saint John
"I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be”
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
No matter how I’ve chosen to express my femininity I will not be apologetic for it because it doesn't make you happy, or because it makes you uncomfortable.
Better yet I’ll be UNAPOLOGETIC!
...and that’s on periodt pooh.